What a Weekend

I am exhausted. I am so looking forward to crawling into bed. However, it will wait a few more minutes. Honestly, if you look at what I did this weekend, you wouldn't think much of it. Yes, I got a lot accomplished but there was down time too. Most of the days were spent alone with my evenings filled with good friends. However, when you get alone with God, he does some pretty heavy duty stuff. He deals with the stuff you are pushing to the side. He knows that laundry needs to be aired and he sure does take care of it. However, he doesn't just leave it at that. Once those spots are cleared out, he puts things on your heart. And this weekend, he sure did that. While I may not understand some of it, he has given me some hard things to sift through and pray over. So that is what I'll be doing for a while.

Getting alone with God - it is the best kind of exhausting there is!

Glory Be

We all go through seasons of learning in our lives and I wanted to briefly share where I am right now. This theme is being played out in Sunday morning Bible Study, daily recall, and in my reading. I'm not going to spell out the specifics of how it applies to my life as of yet because some of it is still rolling around in my head. I'm sure you will see if unfold as time goes by - at least I hope you will. For now, this is a brief excerpt from John Eldredge's book Waking the Dead. I hope it encourages you:

Back in the beginning of our time on earth, a great glory was bestowed upon us. We all - men and women - were created in the image of God. Fearfully and wonderfully made, fashioned as living icons of the bravest, wisest, most stunning Person who ever lived. Those who have ever seen him fell to their knees without even thinking about it, as you find yourself breathless before the Grand Canyon or the Alps or the sea at dawn. That glory was shared with us; we were, in Chesterton's phrase, "statues of God walking about in a Garden," endowed with a strength and beauty all our own. All that we ever wished we could be, we were - and more. We were fully alive.

I daresay we've heard a bit about original sin, but not nearly enough about original glory, which comes before sin and is deeper to our nature. We were crowned with glory and honor. Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave? Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. The reason you doubt there could be a glory to your life is because that glory has been the object of a long and brutal war.

No Wonder....

Since I am in the midst of writer's block and it is time to update the blog, you get to read yet another school story. Don't worry, you only have a few more days to have the possibility of reading student stories. :)

I have two third grade girls that I work with for intense math intervention. Last Wednesday, we walked into my room and I noticed that one of them (L) was staring over my head instead of at what was before her on the table. Here is how the conversation went:

L: *deep sigh* I just feel so sorry for them.

Me: For who?

L: (pointing behind me to a nursery rhyme poster) Jack and Jill....

Me: Why?

L: All they wanted was some water. And they got really hurt!

Me: You do know that it is a poem, right?

L: Yes, but I still feel bad for them. Who would you rather be, Jack or Jill?

Me: I don't know, sweetie. What do you think?

L: Jill, definitely Jill. I mean, she just took a tumble. Jack busted his head open. I'd rather scrape my knee than break my skull.

Me: How long have you been thinking about this?

L: All week. That is why I haven't finished the multiplication chart yet.

Me: I see.......

TAKS Observations

When you have NOTHING to do but watch students take a test (knowing your career and teaching certificate are on the line), you can have some pretty random thoughts. I have two.

1. Can you imagine being OCD and having to take a standardized test? Imagine having to bubble in all of your answers on a scantron. Torture, I'm sure!

2. Pretzels are the WORST snack to give out during the TAKS test. First, the eat them like a squirrel. I had no idea it takes so long to eat one pretzel! There are many ways to prolong it:

- Bite off each curve individually. Then eat the remaining branches one at a time.

- Lick all of the salt off of them and then proceed to the technique above.

- Bite each pretzel into a letter. Examples: A, B, C, D, J, K, M, R, S, V, W,Y Also, they can be bitten into a teardrop.

- Eat all the way around the outside of the pretzel (like a layer) and then go the other way to finish it off.

- See how many nibbles it takes to finish one. Whoever takes the most wins.

All are disgusting and delay the inevitable. My personal opinion - pretzels should be banned from the testing environment. Why not, everything else is!?

Creepiest Dream Ever

Seriously - I win. This week I had the creepiest dream I have ever had. Some people I have told about it have laughed thinking it funny. Some have shared my my creepy feelings. Yet, others have surprisingly told me they have had a very similar dream. Usually I'm not into dream interpretation but this one has me curious. Here it is:

I'm a part time nanny for a dentist who lives on the first floor and has his practice on the second floor. One day as I'm getting ready to go into work (still a teacher as well as a nanny), my teeth start falling out. So I try to tell someone but every time I talk, the teeth left in my mouth crumble into little pieces. I can't call my assistant principal to tell her I'm not coming in because my teeth are alternately falling out and falling apart. On top of this, the dentist I nanny for won't see me. I don't know why but he won't. So I try to get an appointment and can't.

That is when I woke up. I immediately felt for my teeth. It so wasn't funny. Here it is two nights later and I still remember every vivid detail of the dream. I could feel it all! So creepy!

Too Good Not to Share

I have a friend that just cracks me up. I had to share what he wrote on his status update because it was oh so funny. In advance, you are welcome.

I wondered this morning as I sat here quietly eating my danish....What do they call a danish in Denmark? In my head I think they just refer to it as "bread". That would be a confusing conversation. "Danish?" "Yes I am, grew up here." "No, do you want a danish?" "No, I have a wife and she's from here too."

Home

A few months ago, a friend of mine wrote a blog about how she was homesick. She moved to Egypt to teach school on a two year commitment and, at the time, has been there for about six weeks. As I opened her post and read the title, I expected to find lines about friends in Houston, places she missed, and the comforts of America. I should have known better. She has a heart for Cuba and it is her ultimate goal to move there permanently. She wrote that as much as she was enjoying Cairo and does miss Houston, her heart is longing to be where it fits best. While she has never lived there, being there fits.

I find this very interesting. While I see all kinds of spiritual significance to this small post, I'm not going to go there today. I know - you're shocked. Dana's keeping it light. It doesn't happen too often so you can relax and enjoy. :)

I can totally relate to what my friend was saying. Last weekend as I was in Austin, I felt at home. Everything in me relaxed because I was where I love and long to be. I love the abundance of independently owned businesses, the laid back atmosphere, and the lifestyle. I love the accessibility of the hill country while being surrounded by the healthiest city in Texas (tenth in the nation). Right now, that is not the path that has been set before me but one day I hope to find myself in a house in Austin (or somewhere very like it). I love everything about it. So as I thankfully continue with my day in Houston, I long for home.

What about you? Is there a place that feels like another home to you?

Taking a Flying Leap

Last winter, I was trying to think of something big to do for the big 3-0. I wasn't too sure what to do but it was looking like a trip somewhere. Then one day I got an email from my friend Adrienne. She is Miss Adventure all the way (at least in my eyes she is). She had some photos of her at a trapeze school and I wondered if she would be up for skydiving. However, I felt really awkward asking someone to jump out of a flying airplane so I mentioned doing the trapeze. On me of little faith. Of course, Adrienne mentioned skydiving and the plan was made. So after months of anticipation, we met up this weekend to take the big jump.

It was amazing! I really think everyone should do it once. My instructor was wonderful - over 4,000 jumps under his belt. On the plane ride up, we got attached and he told me what to do and expect. When it was our turn, we walked up to the door and we were off. We did a back flip out of the plane and went into a 120 mph free fall. He tapped me and let me pull the chute. We slowed down and got to really enjoy the view. It was so beautiful! Watching others floating and spinning below me was so fun. He showed me how to steer and spin using the toggles and then let me control our path for a while. At one point I felt like I was floating through the middle of a movie. I heard him say, "I'm going to be the first guy to take you on a walk through a cloud." Next thing I know he is steering us in and around a cloud! It was very cool! He has the perfect line built in if he ever wants to sweep a girl off her feet!! We made a very gentle landing and exchanged a hug. I was over too quickly but it was so worth it!

Adrienne and me

Me before the jump

Me after the jump (obviously enjoyed it)

On the way back to Austin, I told Adrienne this jump felt very freeing. I know that there are a lot of things I have wanted to do but chosen not to because it didn't fit who other people think I am. I think this is one of those things. Most people I know would not pick me to skydive. I'm the dependable, responsible, two feet on the ground type of person. However, I just jumped out of an airplane! And it felt great! I am finally ready to stop limiting what I do base upon what I think others will expect and think. I loved the jump and am now ready for the next thing. The options are endless - a solo trip, zip lining, parasailing, hand gliding, and the list goes on. So keep your eyes open! You never know what I may come up with next.....

Poor Captain Von Trapp

I've been wanting to watch The Sound of Music lately. It reached the point that I set it out but just haven't set aside three hours to sit down and enjoy it. Tonight, I noticed it was on TV. It has been playing as I have taken care of some things around the apartment. Of course, there are certain scenes that you have to sit down to watch.

As I was working on dishes in the kitchen, the gazebo scene with Captain Von Trapp and Maria came on. I couldn't help but wonder, am I the only one who feels bad for Captain Von Trapp in this scene? I mean, he tells her he loves her and she doesn't say it back. Then, he goes to kiss her a second time and instead of letting him, she starts singing. Am I the only one who feels he gets a little jipped? I don't know any guy who would be prefer a serenade to a kiss. Don't get me wrong, it's a sweet scene but really? Poor guy.

Maybe its because she was a nun.......

The Woes of a Single Woman

God is good and I am very thankful for the life he has given to me. However, there are a few things that are slightly annoying being single. These aren't things that truly are important but they can really get irritating at times. I've obviously managed fine thus far. So without further ado, here is a list of the top seven things that are better with someone around (couldn't think of three more to make it an even ten):

1. Sometimes zippers on the back of dresses are very hard to close.

2. Jars can be very difficult to open.

3. Cars are beyond my comprehension.

4. Grilling out is a favorite but eludes me completely.

5. There is no one to blame when the apartment gets messy.

6. The act of doing taxes and dealing with insurance companies is an act of trust in God each time it happens.

7. Apparently men shoot straighter than women. Sometimes the clarity and "to the point-ness" of a man is appreciated.

A Year Later

What a year it has been. A year ago, I decided to visit Houston's First Baptist Church just to check it out. A co-worker recommended a class and it was a perfect fit. After six months of juggling two bodies of believers, I made the decision to worship at First. Making the decision to make this move has been one of the most difficult, beautiful blessings of my life.

In the time being there, I have learned so many lessons so far. I thought I would briefly share the things that I have learned and am continuing to learn. Here is what the Lord can do in a year:

- Learning the love of the Lord for me more deeply

- Learning the love of the Lord for others more deeply

- Learning freedom in both of those loves

- Seeing unity in the body of Christ across denominational lines

- A deep respect and appreciation for a strong foundation in Christ

- The difficulty of trust it takes to let someone follow where the Lord is leading them

- Learning to trust the Lord in all things

- The need for community

- The power of prayer

- The understanding of scripture afresh

Each of these lessons are significant on their own. Together, it changes your life and how you are interact/love others. I can't wait to see how the process of learning these things plays out over the days to come. Today, I am so thankful for what has past and anticipate with eagerness the days to come.

The Book Thief

One of my favorite things about summer vacation is the opportunity to read. For the past few summers, I have chosen a series of books and have read through the entire set. I also loving going to Barnes and Noble to peruse the summer reading tables for the high school students. There are usually a few classics that I haven't read or a new on that catches my eye. Two summers ago, I noticed a book called "The Book Thief" with a picture of a domino chain on the cover of it. I read the back, was intrigued, and brought it home. I tried to start it but could not get into it. Fast forward to a month ago and I decide to take it off of the book shelf and give it another go. It is the story of a young German girl and those around her living in Nazi Germany. It is about how books help her survive the war and find the beauty in the midst of despair.

It has been a very long time since I have read a book that has so incredibly taken my breath away. This is it. This is the book that I have - and will continue to - recommend to every person that I meet. On the cover is a line from a review from The New York Times that says, "Brilliant and hugely ambitious....It's the kind of book that can be life changing." At the time, I thought that was WAY overly stated but tonight, as I get ready to put it on the shelf, I already miss the characters. My mom tells me that the first time I watched the movie Annie, I cried because it was over. I've always thought that was silly but tonight, I wipe my tears because there is not a next page. It is devastatingly beautiful in a way that only a book can be. It is taking everything in me to not immediately begin reading it again. It is the most beautiful example of the artistry of words that I have ever read. Below is a four minute interview with the author, Markus Zusak. Watch it and then GO READ THIS BOOK!

Rodeo 2010

In learning growing intimacy with God, there are certain verses that I think we often use as token verses. One that comes to mind is the one that talks about how he knows the number of hairs on our head. Yes, it is neat to know that when I brush my hair, God know how many came out and are now on my bathroom floor. However, to be honest, I find the fact that he knows my unspoken inner places and unrealized needs better than I do is what blows me away. He is the Sovereign Lord of all I am and all I need. This weekend is yet another example of just how he shows up as I need him.

Last Wednesday, I was driving back to Grandpa's house fighting the age old battle of trying not to slip into a pity party. I just wanted to go home and I was driving back into an emotionally draining situation. I was trying in vain to psych myself up for the evening when my phone rang. A friend of mine, Lisa, called me to invite me out for a girls night. A student had given her a Rodeo package that included a suite and tickets to the rodeo for four people for Friday night. I think I may have startled her with the enthusiasm of my acceptance. It was the umph I needed to get me through the rest of the week.

Friday afternoon, we met up and trudged our way through Houston traffic. As we were checking in, we discovered that a mistake was made and there were no tickets for the evening's rodeo. After much ado, we were given (and accepted) the offer for an additional night at the hotel (room rate = $589 per night and we got it for FREE both nights) and tickets for the next day. Once everything was settled, we decided that as nice as the room was, we would split the rodeo into two days. So we were off to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo for the evening. We went to see the quilt and art competitions, animals, vendors, tractors, walked the carnival, had our first experience on the Light Rail, and ended up at The Chocolate Bar (not really a bar but one of the best dessert places I've ever been to). Of course, there was no early to bed with four girls staying in a hotel suite together. Overall, such a fun night! Since there was no rush to check out in the morning, we indulged in sleeping in, breakfast in the hotel restaurant (again, part of the package), and visiting/reading/napping. We got dressed up again and made our way back to the grounds and the rodeo/concert. After the shows, we walked around a bit more and made our way to get steaks (in honor of the rodeo). Then, of course, back to the hotel to stay up too late talking. We got up this morning, had breakfast, and headed to church.

Now, I know that most people would not look at a girls weekend to the rodeo as a sign of a Sovereign God but I guess I'm not most people. I really wanted to go to the rodeo but because of how things turned out, I knew it would have to wait until 2011. God provided. I knew that I was at my breaking point emotionally and just needed an escape. God provided. We took Lisa's car so I was completely unable to feel guilty for not being elsewhere. Mom and Dad came in to stay with Grandpa so I did not have to worry about him. God's provision. Instead of a night of fun, God provided a whole weekend of fun and rest. He provided safety as we walked around. He made a financially impossible impulse stay-cation pretty much free. He very sweetly and powerfully met me each morning in my quiet time.

So yes, I can say with full assurance that God in Sovereign - even at the Rodeo.

Checking In

It has been a few weeks but I'm still alive. I've been staying withe Grandpa the past couple of weeks with a small break here and there so I've been removed from the world of blogs and facebook. I feel like I've seen and heard more about my grandparents than I ever knew possible. I have sweet and heartbreaking stories about it all. I'm so glad to have been able to help out but I have to be honest - I am completely overwhelmed. I know I shouldn't complain but I really could use all of the prayers I can get. I'm going back tomorrow for a few more days and I'm more overwhelmed than I can say. Physically, mentally, emotionally - I don't think I have much more to give.

One of the blessings is that I have had to lean on the Lord more in the past two and a half weeks than I have in years. He has been so gracious to provide strength in our hour of need. He has carried burdens when they got heavy and He has provided for every need we have had. He has held us up when we felt like collapsing and I know He will do it again. I have seen Him answer prayers and be our Comforter. I love and serve a faithful God!

Prayers for Grandma

To say the last 36 hours have been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. I'm too emotionally drained right now to even put well thought out sentences on "paper". Please pray for my Grandma and our family as we minister to her and each other. Our needs are so wide reaching - even within my own immediate family. God knows what each one of us needs.

Cheap Healthy Good

Before running to the grocery store today, I jumped online to google recipes for one. Cooking for one can be a struggle so I thought I would look for someone with more wisdom than me. Apparently the only thing that singles can eat are English Muffin pizzas and take out. :) However, in my search, I found my favorite new blog - as if I needed a new obsession on the internet. I usually don't want to dig back through past posts but I can't get enough here.

So the blog is called Cheap Healthy Good. The writers share recipes, articles, vegan/vegetarian information, and random food/eating out information. One thing that I love about it is that the writers give the caloric and fat content as well as the pricing per serving. I got the ingredients for a recipe called Bodega Beans that costs $0.62 per serving and is really good for you. I found another one for $0.89 per serving. It is easy to navigate and you can look by labels. They have links to other good sites as well.

So, here is my very highly recommended new favorite blog: Cheap Healthy Good

Meeting Frank

At the end of last year, I had an ah-ha moment. For whatever reason, it hit me that my grandparents are 86 years old, I live 20 minutes down the road and I only saw them about once per 6 weeks. Not many grandparents make it this far and here I've been wasting time I could be having with them. So at our family Christmas exchange, I asked if I could start coming to have dinner with them once a week. It is mid-February and we are still having dinner every Wednesday.

My grandma has one of the most amazing lives I have ever heard about. She would share a little here and there so I feel like I know about her pretty well. As she has gotten older, she has grown to fear dementia since there is a history of it in her family. To keep her mind sharp, she reads a lot and shares everything about her reading and her life. I don't blame her at all but sometimes that means Grandpa does considerably more listening than visiting. I know there is still stuff to learn but of the two, I have known her story much better. Until recently....

One of my favorite things about Wednesday evenings is getting to visit with Grandpa. He just tells you exactly what he thinks whether you ask for it or not. Sometimes it can be funny, sometimes it makes you roll your eyes, and other times it can be downright shocking. However, in between opinions, he has been slowly getting to share parts of his story along the way. Nothing big and earth shattering but little details that make a person who they are. Things like when they started drinking coffee, or what life was like on a submarine, or helping a favorite aunt study for her master's degree, or how they got their nicknames. Somewhere between the unsolicited advice and listening to his wife retell a story, my grandpa sits waiting his turn - sometimes patiently and sometimes not. And when we get the chance, he tells me things about him that I did not know before. In those moments, it feels like for the first time, I am meeting Frank.

January 30, 2010

What a day! Never in a million years could I have imagined what my 30th birthday would look like. I am overwhelmed to the point of joyful, humbled, thankful tears! All day long, all I could think was, "Thank you, God!" As I drove along the highway, I couldn't shake how incredibly blessed I am.

Today wasn't just a big day for me. I got to have lunch with my incredibly amazing parents. Thirty years of their life turned over today. For 30 years, Mom and Dad have provided for me and supported me. They have taught me what it means to love in every way. They have laughed with me and cried with me. They have loved me through it all. They hope for me and with me. I have spent hours today flashing back to moments with them, both sweet and silly. Not many people today can remember 30 years with their parents together. That blessing is not lost on me. They have introduced me to the greatest Love of my life and for that I am (literally) eternally grateful. No greater gift.....

My amazing sister and her family humble me greatly. Even though it was difficult, they loaded both kids up to come eat pancakes with me. Only love.... My sister is wonderful! I do not remember life without her. She has fought with me and for me. She has been my confidant and has given me confidence. She is loving and lovable. And I couldn't imagine one step of my life without her. She has given me a brother. Gregg is such a joy. From messing with each other to sharing his wisdom when needed, he is a gift of God I could never have know to ask for. And the kids! Liz and Bladen have only been here a very short part of the past 30 years but have brought a new love and joy to life than I have ever known.

Friends both old and new have been a part of today. Laughing, catching up, and accepting me just as I am but pushing me to be better. Teaching me about the family that extends beyond blood. Each one having a different role and significance in this life.

Yet, even as overwhelming as all of these blessings are, they are just examples of the beautiful life God has given me. Yes, there have been bumps along the road but I am convinced that God has gone every step of the past 30 years with me - whether I knew it of not. That is the greatest blessing of all!

Between highways and side streets, pancakes and german chocolate cake, family and friends, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't ask for a better 30 years. Thank you, Father, for giving me such an abundant life!

Stolen

I have come to the conclusion that different people are more sensitive to the urgings of the Spirit at certain times more than others. There is no telling why we are more receptive in certain times or situations but there you go. For me, I have noticed that I am more open to the Spirit very first thing in the morning or when driving in my car. Yesterday was no exception.

As my alarm clock went off, my mind was immediately singing the chorus of one of my favorite songs. The song, Stolen by Dashboard Confessional, has a very simple, two line chorus:

You have stolen my heart,

You have stolen my heart.

While the song has nothing to do with God, I immediately knew that this was not just a song looping through my head. It was my soul singing a love song to God, even as I was coming from sleep to waking up. Before my hand could find the alarm clock, I knew. After nearly 30 years, I have finally allowed myself to completely lose myself to my Father. He has stolen my heart. I adore Him with all that is in me and my heart is His. He has swept me off my feet and it doesn't look like He will be putting my down anytime soon. My breath is taken away.

Yesterday was not a good day. It wasn't the worst day ever but it was difficult. However, throughout the day, my spirit would sing out:

You have stolen my heart,

You have stolen my heart.

as if to remind me that no matter the difficulties of the day, my heart is forever lost to Him. It was beautiful. But it didn't stop there.

After outreach last night, I decided to listen to this song on the way home. As I drove along I-10, I popped the cd in and as the chorus began to play for the first time, a still, small voice whispered love as I have never heard it before. It wasn't just my heart that has been stolen by Him.......

He feels the same way about me.

Why, I will never know, but it is true. He calls me the apple of His eye, His chosen one, beloved. He adores me. He has fought for me and has given me abundant life. He looks at me and His breath is taken away. He went so far as to die for me and eagerly waits until we are together. I never have been and I never will be so well loved.

It wasn't just a song stuck in my head. It wasn't just my spirit singing a love song to my God. It was more. It was a song He sang over me. We sang it to each other. We sang it all night. We sang it all day today. I have a feeling we will be singing it for a very long time...

You have stolen my heart,

You have stolen my heart.

Blah Blah Blah

I'm in a blogging slump lately. Sorry y'all! I'm either brain dead or have become the most uncreative person known to man. Have a great weekend and I'll see ya on the other side!