They'll Break Your Heart

One thing that I have loved about teaching first grade is their absolute innocence. They have such a curiosity about the natural world around them. They are SO loving and desire nothing more than to love and please. This world is so much more beautiful through their eyes.

Or so I thought....

Over the past few weeks, I've been allowed to see exactly what my sweet six year olds are exposed to. Here are a few examples:

• One boy lost his mother about two years ago. He has been such a discipline issue! However, since my other girl has moved on, I've been able to really see him for the first time. He wants a mother's attention so badly that he's been reaching out for mine any way that he could get it. Now, if I can praise him nonstop, he is SO good but it not, he will do whatever he can to experience the maternal attention he doesn't have at home.
• A few weeks ago, one of my little girls was SOBBING on the way to the bus. It was her dad's weekend to have them and he hadn't made arrangements to pick them up from school. It was the second week in a row that he didn't show. We had to literally pick her up and put her on the bus with her sisters. It broke my heart.
• Yesterday, I had to write a kid up for threatening to "kill you when we get back to the apartments". He told another that he was going to "blast his head off" and looked at a girl VERY meanly while making a slashing motion across her throat. The face he made scared me! Lovely....
• Today, a student was sent to the office to eat with the AP for making his pizza rolls have sex. Then he left without permission and told her that I had punished him (I hadn't).
• On top of that, I can't get my boys to quit talking about their body parts and poop. Even my sixth graders didn't do that! I guess that is what happens when you put 12 little boys in the same room with only four girls.

On top of them, I have been very upset by what is going on with the children from Eldorado. What will happen to these little ones? What has life been like so far? If I had the training and financial means, I would strongly consider taking one in.

I've also been reading a book which revolves around foster children and the system. It is fiction but I find myself going to bed a little earlier every night so I know what is happening to this sweet little boy.

They are all children! They are supposed to be worried about losing teeth and scraped knees and wanting dogs for Christmas. My heart breaks for their loss of innocence. They should not know these words, actions, or lives. The needs are so great that there is not enough love to fill every need.

Thank you, Father, for watching over these little ones! Continue to call them to you!