Being a Sheep

Since everyone that I know is doing the 25 things about me, I thought I would give in and follow the leaders....

1. It doesn't matter how many times I see a picture of my niece, I am still overcome by how beautiful she is.

2. I am am an avid reader but lately I am really tearing through books. Seriously, three in the past two weeks. During the school year, this is a record for me.

3. I secretly like the hokey movies on the Hallmark Channel. Embarrassing, I know.

4. I'm with Erin - You just can't get too much better than Hebrew and Greek word study in bible study.

5. I was recently given a glimpse into how cynical life can make someone my age. And everyday since then, I have thanked God profusely that He has shielded me from that.

6. My favorite purchase I've made recently is a sign from Caleb's shop that says, "If at night you cannot sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep". It reminds me of one of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies White Christmas.

7. I'm on a new medication and it has changed my taste buds. I just don't enjoy sweets much anymore. This even includes my beloved hot chocolate. *Sigh.....*

8. I've learned that I really do enjoy cooking and baking.

9. One day I would really like to get my masters in either library sciences or something biblical.

10. My current favorite praise and worship song is Sing to the King. My students really like it too. They hear me sing it a lot!

11. I am growing to appreciate and be more comfortable with silence - especially in the car. I'm hoping to hear something in it one day.

12. The first song that I remember hearing on the radio and learning the words to is "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears. Besides my first love of the Monkees, this song was the first song I loved on my own. Oh yeah!

13. Everyday I am more and more thankful that God has continued to mold me into what He wants me to be instead of leaving me the way that I am. I look back at even a year ago and I am humbled! He is so much better that I deserve!!

14. While Erin has some amazing friends, I have her next best friend picked out for her. When I saw her at the movie theater the other night, I may have been slightly over excited. Seriously though, I can totally see it! Now to only make that happen.......hmmmm....?

15. A glass of sweet tea has the same affect on me that a whole pot of espresso has on most people.

16. Knowing that drawing is one of the talents that God has not bestowed upon me, I do feel a bit of pride when my six year old students (who don't know any better) argue that the dog I just attempted to draw is "really good!".

17. One of the things that I look forward to the most on visits home is looking through Dad's stash of coins for that one coin he's missing. It doesn't happen every visit but I always secretly hope that it does.

18. I have that wonderful feeling that the pendulum is starting to swing the other way - in the best of ways, of course.

19. She doesn't know it but one of my new favorite things about Tuesday nights is seeing Mallory sing during praise and worship time. I don't watch her but every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye and it makes my heart smile. She seems to have no inhibitions in singing to her God.

20. I look forward to the day that I feel free to completely praise God without even having the thought of what others will think. Getting there but it's always in the back of my mind.

21. Apparently, I am pretty emotional too....

22. I've grown aware of the fact that I use ellipsis a lot when I write. (....) I've refrained many times even within this post.

23. When I go shopping and can't find my size in what I like, I just chalk it up to the fact that either I have really good taste because everyone else likes the same things I do, I'm actually an average body size because everyone else is my size too, or a combination of the two. Any way I go with it, it's a winning situation!

24. As hard as it is to get motivated sometimes, I feel really good when I have a domestic day. When the house is clean, clothes are clean, ironed, and put away, and dinner is cooking, I feel like I've accomplished something semi-fulfilling.

25. Generally I don't drink any soda unless I am feeling nauseous. I've learned that I don't like that taste of ginger ale with real ginger in it. I'll take the artificially flavored Canada Dry brand any day!

OK, friends! Now it's your turn! Let's see what you have to share!

Two Weekend Wonders

1. There are many things that I have come to love about our God. I love His timing and sense of humor. I love how He knows exactly what I need to hear at the most significant times. I love how He makes things turn out even if they weren't "in the plans" - and they are always better than I could have even thought to imagine. The thing right now that I am newly falling in love with (and attempting to wrap my mind around) came from many places. First, it came from our morning study on Daniel at school, then a talk with Erin, and then a prayer with friends yesterday morning. God puts all things into action and knows what time holds. From the past to the present, God has set seasons into being. Because He is all-knowing and the Ancient of Days, He is teaching me that every prayer I have lifted up has already been answered. I may not know what that answer is but it has been issued. It doesn't mean that I stop talking to Him or lose hope or trust. It means coming before Him honestly and clothed in who I really am knowing that whatever I ask or say, He responds. He is not silent or absent. He hears and answers. And that changes everything!

2. I love my Bible. It has so many notes here and there that I have picked up and have significant meaning. Things like original word choice, cross-referencing, and dates specific passages made an impact on my life. I would love for it to be the Bible that I carry from here on out. However.....I think it is time for a new one. The ink that I used for notes is bleeding through to the next page and making the text hard to read. Then, today we were studying out of Acts and my eye caught a note I made several years ago. At the time, it was important but now I don't agree with what I wrote. In fact, I believe quite differently. I also remember the attitude in which I wrote it and it was so wrong. So, begrudgingly, I think it is time to break down and get a new bible. I'm such a brat! There are people around the world who literally die for one. Here I am being so...... selfish.

One Only the Ladies Can Appreciate

Before I get going too much further, I need to tell you that if blog posts could have subtitles, this one would be called "The One with all the TMI". Now, I know that Erin will have a bit to say about this post because what I am about to write about is nothing in comparison to what she had recently experienced. It may not appear on this blog but at some point, she will let me know her two cents.

What in the world must God have been thinking when He gave women hormones!? Seriously, where did the idea of complete uncontrollable irrationality come from!? For the first time in my life, I am healthy and experiencing the full onset of mood swings, irritability, and crying for NO REASON AT ALL. What is that!?!? Most women learn to deal with these at about age 12 but I am having to start much later thanks to the amazing Dr. Levin! Don't get me wrong, as annoying and baffling as they are to me, I could not be more thankful because it means that everything is as it should be for this first time in my life. It means that things I thought would not be possible for me are now actually something that could happen. The joy that brings me is too much for words! However, I'm learning that all of that craziness of emotions I thought was just silly stereotypes are indeed realities. WOW! Apparently God made me a crier and I just didn't know it until a few weeks ago.

One of my favorite episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond is called Bad Mood Rising. Ray tries to give Debra pills to help with her PMS and she goes ballistic. Every emotion under the sun (in extreme) is swung to in the course of a few minutes. Hilarious! However, that is how I have felt lately. Here is a clip of that episode. The few minutes leading up to here are even better but this is all I could find. It's suddenly not as funny as I remember it being. :)

Sunny Days, Keeping the Clouds Away....

The last two days have been gorgeous. It makes me wish for a house so I had a yard to spend time in. With an apartment, it is hard to just go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine and prefect spring day breeze (even though it was very un-January like weather). In San Marcos, there were so many nooks and crannies to go hide in on pretty days. That was one of the nice things are living where a few rivers cut through the town. Once of my favorite spots was in the park. A river cut through an edge of the park and a bridge connected the main park to an "island". People would go there for a picnic, to fish, or to just draw/read/visit with a friend. I thought about that place a lot this weekend. I've only been fishing once but yesterday I had a desire to cross that bridge, be on that island with the sun shining through the leaves, and cast a line into the river. Whether I caught a fish or not, it wouldn't matter. Just being outside on a perfect day surrounded by the beauty of God's creation would have been heaven on earth.

Memory Verse for January 15

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. - Psalm 62: 1-2

For some reason, my emotions have been all over the place in the past few weeks. There is no telling what will make me weepy at any given moment. It almost feels like God wants me to come face to face with my disappointments. I've been thinking about it and I think it is about time. In the past, facing fears and disappointments has often released me from the power I let them have over me. I've learned that in doing so, I have to approach it prayerfully. I know that God will only let us face things so far but will not let them overtake us. So this is the scripture that I have chosen to call to the forefront of my mind in struggling moments. I have chosen to pray it when I am tempted to slip into a mess. For God alone is my comfort and strength. He holds my past, present, and future. He works to redeem me to His perfect and pleasing will. He purifies me in His holiness and holds my hand when facing those things that cause me pain and fear. His love is unshakably perfect and casts out all fear. He is my rock and salvation. He provides rest. Him, and Him alone.

Two Things that Have Absolutely Nothing to do with Each Other

This has been quite a week. Can I just say - Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! I have spent this week thoroughly confused about which day it is! The first week back after two weeks off and only four days with kids can really throw you for a loop! So I thought I would share a couple of things from this week. They are so unrelated that this should probably be two separate posts but I'm just going to kill two birds with one stone.

1) I have been very pleased to learn that the female love of shoes is truly a life long passion. I have a couple of students who can't seem to get over this hump and move on to the next reading level. It is frustrating for me but also for them. They don't know they have been stagnant but the few times I have attempted to move them on, they just look at me like I've asked them to read a Latin medical reference book. So as we trudge through the ever present "E" books, I try to put it more in their hands. I lay out about three books for them to choose from. One that I have learned to always offer is called "Shoes Women Wear". I am almost willing to stake my life of the fact that whenever I offer it as an option, my little girls won't even consider the other options. In fact, I have girls that are beyond that level asking me if they can read the shoe book. Gotta love girls and their shoes!

2) A few times this week I have been thinking about missing people. Not people who have gone missing but the feeling of missing those you haven't seen in a while. (Side note, while I was thinking about this post, I started singing the DC Talk song Colored People but I kept saying Missing instead of Colored. Sadly, it took me a while to catch my mistake.) Anyway, I have been caught off guard by how much I have missed some people recently. I find missing people such a mixed emotion. There are elements of sorrow, anticipation, and, when those we miss are seen again, great joy. For example, I wasn't quite ready to get back to work but as soon as I saw my kids turn the corner on Tuesday morning, I was overcome with a giddiness and desire to squeeze them all tightly. I was surprised how much I missed them! Then, a few days ago, my dear friend Danielle joined facebook and requested me as her friend. It sounds silly but just seeing her face made me squeal with excitement. I knew that I missed her but I didn't realize how much. It has made me wonder, who else do I miss and not even realize it? Seeing my kids and briefly hearing from Danielle made me wonder, what other faces could bring such joy if I saw them at random? What other voices are my ears aching to hear? Going a step further, who do I miss that I don't even know yet? There are relationships (mentor, friend, husband, children) that my heart longs for. I hope one day they will understand when I look at them and honestly say, "I missed you!" with all of the excitement and joy that I felt upon seeing my friend and students this week.

And So It Goes....

I have started reading the book "A Walk with Jane Austen" and something the author says about her memoir really struck home with me. I thought it was great and wanted to share it with you. Lori Smith wrote, "We don't choose what happens to us, but I suppose we choose (even subconsciously) how we remember it and what stories we tell."

I just spent a little time looking back at some posts from this time last year. It was really interesting to go back and see what I chose to write about. Somethings brought a smile to my face and others made me scratch my head. Sweet memories forgotten vs the difficult times that I wrote about so vaguely that I can't even remember what they were about. Even the things that were hard (or bad) I don't remember as being so difficult. I guess our interpretation of life really does make all the difference in the end.

2009

Happy New Year, sweet friends! What a beautiful day to start off a year that I have been anticipating for a few weeks.

Usually, for me, New Year is a time of reflection - looking back over the joys and sorrows that defined the milestones of the year. This year, both were present (just as any other year) but I've taken a different approach in my mind's eye. I fully believe that God blesses remembrances because he had His people put up standing stones so that they may tell their children of the goodness of the Lord. However, along with these remembrances, I've decided to make this a year of anticipation. Set aside for the Lord, I am fully convinced that our God will be faithful, fulfilling His promises in the year to come. This is a year that, instead of New Year Resolutions that will be forgotten in days to come, I just want to seek the One who set time into motion, the Author and Perfector of our faith. I've known the hand of the Lord and want it more. I want to hear his voice so clearly that when He passes by in a gentle whisper, it will not be mistaken for any other than Him.

As I've spent time in prayer over this, I've been asking for ways to keep my focus. Yet again, our God is faithful! I am committing to learn two verses a month for the next year. It is do-able and personal. Choosing verses appropriate for the stage of life to which I have been called, I am able to see the goodness of the Lord day in and day out. For the first verse of the year, I was seeking a "mission statement" for what is to come. After finding this one and briefly reading some commentary on it, I chose Hosea 10:12:

Sow for yourself righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord until he comes and showers righteousness on you.

I'll continue to post the verses I have chosen because for me, repeated writing helps me memorize. If you would like to join, feel free! You don't have to tell anyone. Make sure you have accountability for yourself and dive in to blessing upon blessing!

May the Lord bless and keep this year for you. May He shine his face on you and be gracious! Have a wonderful 2009!

Audiobooks

Well, I'm about to hop in the car and head west for Pleasanton. This is the second time in two weeks. Last week was Jenn's baby shower and tomorrow in Lin's wedding. So much to celebrate!

With time on the road, I have grown to really appreciate the beauty of audio books. I am a slow reader so this is the perfect way to get some "reading" done without having any distractions. I've recently read "Teaching Lolita in Tehran" and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time". Both are very good and I would recommend them both to you. Today, I'm welcoming something with a little more depth. I'll be listening to "A Heart Like His: Intimate Reflections on the Life of David." I thought it would be appropriate because giants seem to be a running them in my mind the past three weeks. God is doing something here so I thought I would see how David handled a life so close to God's heart.

I hope everyone is enjoying this season of celebration, reflection, and anticipation. Love to you all!

Radioactive Holiday Greetings.

I hope that everyone has a very wonderful Christmas Eve! Before we get down to the joy behind our season, here is a little (one and a half minutes) jingle bells silliness for you and yours. Seriously, who has the time? I'm glad they did. :)

Oh, Mama!

Tonight I called Mom to tell her something pretty random that I was momentarily excited about. After we got off the phone, I thought, "What is Mom going to do when I start dating someone?" She'll probably be a hair relieved to not get four calls a day (sadly this is one of the few days that I'm not exaggerating) about everything from doctor's appointments to the price of medicine to baking questions. She'll still get calls, of course, but some brave soul somewhere will be inheriting an endless stream of over excitement over tiny things.

Everyone start praying for the man now!

The Voice of the Lord

It is an amazing thing when the Lord speaks a word over your life. Peaceful and confident, silencing fears and building hope and faith. In unexpected times, when we need it most, God makes Himself known. Blessed be the Lord!

Smart Kids

I already shared this with a few of you but I thought I would share it with everyone. It is too funny to pas up as a post.

So we got to school yesterday and it was 65 degrees. As we were going to recess it was 44 degrees. I was excited because I got to wear my scarf and fun hat with the fuzzy ball on top of it. We got out and it was COLD so the kids started acting like huddled penguins to stay warm. Suddenly they all took off fast towards to wall. Apparently, they found the dryer vent from our Life Skills class blowing warm air out of the dryer and they huddled around it to stay warm.

I have smart kids!

Is That Really Simple?

I got my January issue of my favorite magazine, REALSIMPLE, yesterday? Two things caught my eye immediately. First, the issue's feature article is entitled "Feel calmer now: 20 essential lists to organize your life" OK...if I had time to sit down and make 20 different lists, I don't think I would need them. If you can do that, you have time to get quite a bit done! I mean, I'm juggling a lot of balls already without throwing 20 extra lists into the air with them. The sad thing is that I will most likely read the article and then find time to write out each list and decide on its usefulness. I'm such a nerd!

The second things I noticed was the quote for the month. I love quotes! Every issue of this magazine has one on the spine. This months is really good. Here it is: Life comes in clusters, clusters of solitude, then a cluster when there is hardly time to breathe. - May Sarton. Can I just say - so true!

Converge

As you can tell from the previous post, Erin and I attended Converge on Thursday night. CeCe Winnans and Travis Cottrell were there and Beth spoke. It was interesting because the lesson that was given was not about the birth but about advent - waiting in anticipation. She used Luke 1's story of Zechariah and Elizabeth. I spent the whole lesson feeling like I had a spiritual bull's eye on me. There may have been 6,000 people there but it landed all over me. I'm no going to go into all of it here because it is just one of those Mary things - you know, something treasured in my heart. Besides, I'm still trying to process it so that it really sticks. Instead, I'm just going to write down a few things I took down as special to me. You may think them everyday statements but they are bringing tears to my eyes even now. Hope they bless you in some way today!

• God doesn't just show up. He prepares a way for Himself to come.
• The answer to our prayer is issued upon the beginning of our saying it. We just don't get it right away.
• Answer to our personal prayer is often wrapped up in the answer to a corporate prayer. There is often something bigger in play.
• He will bless you with what you want or He will bless you with more than what you did not know to want.
• Blessed are you when what comes naturally to others comes supernaturally to you. (This was the biggest one for me.)

On a Day Like Today...

Today ended in worship - just as it should. I hoped Travis would sing "In the First Light" and, praise God!, he did. What an amazing gift this man has been given! Listen below or read the lyrics.



Then, the blessing of all musical blessings, we ended with "In Christ Alone".



Merry Christmas and love to you all!

SNOW IN HOUSTON!

Yes! About 20 minutes before dismissal, snow started falling at Wolfe Elementary! I'm not sure who was more excited - my six year olds or their teacher! We were ALL jumping around and crowding around the windows. We "bundled up" and went out in our Atrium to watch tiny flakes float down to cover our coats and hair. Nothing stuck to the ground but it didn't matter. REAL snowflakes were floating onto OUR school! And it was 72 degrees yesterday! What joy! Our resident teachers from the North thought we were all WAY over excited but when this is what you get every 5 - 10 years, you take it! So in honor of the snow, I actually left work right after the kids did, came home, plugged in the Christmas Tree, and am enjoying some hot chocolate (with the very rare treat of marshmallows). I'm even more excited that Erin posted a picture of my sweet niece during her first snow.

Happy Winter, everyone!

A Light One of Graditude

It is a bit late but here are a few of the little joys in life that I am very thankful for. All of these are the icing on the cake of significant blessings I already have. These just make life that much sweeter!

• Being able to bless someone with a gift
• The smell of the new barbecue place just up the street
• Apple cider and iced tea (but not mixed together)
• The Christmas Song by Dave Matthews
• Gorgeous new pictures of my niece
• Waking up and feeling rested
• Anticipating a sister date for Converge (10 days but who's counting?)
• Getting the house ready to set up the Christmas tree
• Being finished with Christmas shopping!
• Climbing into a bed of clean sheets

I am truly blessed!

Loving Friends

I think it is funny how God's timing works. It is something that I have grown to respect and cherish at the same time. The latest case in point is my Life Group. What an AMAZING group of people! I don't think that I could be more at home with another group of people outside of my own actual family. What I find funny about it is that last September, I visited this group and didn't get connected (by my own fault, not theirs). Then, a year later, I visit the group again and ta-da! God has done things in me to prepare me for being ready for such a loving group. I am truly blessed! I could go through each member and tell of the gift they are to me but tonight, I'll just focus on one couple.

One of our elders and his wife are in our group. I remember meeting them the first time I visited and being very welcomed by them. I recall when the church here announced that they were considering men as elders, I hoped he was one of the men before they announced his name. Over the summer, she was in our bible study and I so looked forward to everything that she had to say/share. Since spending time together over the past three months, I have grown to love and appreciate this couple more and more. Not only are they amazing individuals, they are such a GREAT couple! I know it has taken 25 years of love and work but I love to watch them. Last night he was late and he winked at her across the room. They are loving towards each other and have learned what it is to be one. They seek God together and in their own lives and I believe fully that they know His presence in a very loving way. They have both touched my heart in very specific ways.

A few weeks ago, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a training hosted by a local church. I was sorting through things said in the sessions and I asked for prayers along those lines. Simple as it sounds, she really stilled my spirit. She offered up a calm word (not really significant to anyone else) and winked at me. That's it - just a wink, a kind word, and a smile. Her heart spoke through that simple act and it meant SO much to me.

Last night, he was leading the prayer for our group. Without any prompting, suggestion, or request from me, he prayed for me. He prayed for my future husband and the man God is working him to become. The words hit me like a wall of power. I literally felt every word come against me and through me with fully strength. Never have I felt anything like that. It was SO touching and fortifying. I didn't even know it but I needed those words prayed over me in a big way. What he didn't know was that I have been contemplating things a little more than usual lately. It was such a blessing. I didn't thank him because I was just speechless.

Tonight, I am increasingly thankful for Bob and Alicia and their presence in my life!

What to Write???

It is SO annoying to know it is time for a new post but nothing will come! So....anything you are interested in reading about or knowing? I'm an open book but you have to tell me which page to turn to. :)