Day One: Entrusted and Trusting

I have decided over the next 30 days that I will be actually getting up when my alarm clock goes off (instead of snoozing too long) to read the daily entry in Terry Esau's book. This morning, mission accomplished and I am SO thankful I did! Coming into this, I was thinking things like, "What if nothing happens?" or "What if I miss it?" It was good to know that I was in good company. Esau's first entry was along those lines - concerns that a day will be ordinary and that nothing significant will jump out at him. Or even worse, something will happen and he'll miss it. He chronicled his day and the ordinary moments where he saw God. Nothing earth shattering but God in his everyday. Yes, there may be days where God knocks my socks off in this but He is in every moment, even when it is routine. And isn't that the point?

My day was much the same. Followed the regular Tuesday schedule with no bumps or out of the blue incidents. The same things that make me laugh, make me chuckle today. The same things that irritate me, irritated me today. However, dinner with some co-workers was really good (almost hated to end it) and two of us cleared the parking lot after bible study sharing concerns and passions for our curriculum/students. Then it ended with the most adorable pictures of my sweet niece that will make your heart melt. She looks like her beautiful mother in many of them! Erin is getting good with that camera!

Yet, starting this experiment on a Tuesday means starting it on a bible study day. Of course, there are blessings each week when that time is invested! So here was the overall themes to tonight's ah-ha moments for me (also known as today's surprise).

Tonight, we talked about the boundary lines that have been placed around our lives. The areas that hem us in and help define who we are, per se. They were intimacy with God, our past (specifically our hurts and pains), our life experiences (everything that we have been through, where we have been, and the things that make us who we are), and our spiritual gifts. We looked at each one in depth but one common theme rang in my ears with each point: I have been entrusted with each of these things. God has redeemed me and found me worthy of the experiences that define who I am. He has entrusted every moment, every experience, every characteristic, everything that makes me tick. He has given me these things not only to define me but to use me. Every joy and sorrow, when sanctified by Him, can be used for His glory. And that is a humbling thought!

For a few months now, I've been thinking on something. There is a part of my testimony that I do not share. In fact, VERY few people have heard it. I am very private about it because it is shared with another person. To share this part of my past means sharing very personal things about that individual. I am very aware of this and try to be very considerate of that. So, I don't share it. However....a few months ago, I was listening to another woman share her story and it sounded significantly like mine. I approached her afterwards and told her that I appreciated her sharing that. Her response really got to me. She told me that everytime she tells her story, more women come to her and share that they have been secretly carrying the same burden/hurts. There is a growing need for people to be a support for individuals that have been where we have walked. She said that while not everyone will give public testimonies, more people need to be open to helping people deal with this situation. I've been thinking about this since October and I have a feeling that at some point, I will be called upon to share that part of my past with someone else. Tonight, it was all over my mind as I listened and took notes. I have no idea when, who, or how but I know that God entrusted that experience in my past to me so that He could do something with it at some point. So right now, I'm beginning to trust that He will not only finish redeeming it for me, but will cause it to work for the good. So we will see in days to come how this will turn out. Until then, I am humbled to be entrusted with such a task and trusting that when the time comes, it will not be me at all doing the work but the One who redeems!