The dreaded 10 year reunion is coming for this girl. I have very little desire to go but will admit that there are a few friends that I would like to see. Curiosity is peaking about a few individuals. However, what holds me back from going is my personal expectations. Let me explain....
There is SO much I would like to go back and tell "Senior Year Dana". So many things that I have learned and been lead through over the past 10 years. I can honestly say that my life today is very little is as I had envisioned it being at 10 year reunion time. In some ways, there is disappointment but in others, it is far better than I could ever have hoped for. It is sad that 10 years after seeing many of these people, there is still a part of me that cares what they will think. Still single, no kids, nothing hugely successful (by the world's standards) to my name. I don't want to walk in and share that with everyone I knew. The funniest thing about it all is that I wasn't that to anyone in my graduating class to begin with. I couldn't wait to move on! I haven't kept in touch with any of them - not one. And it goes the other way too. Yet, 10 years later, I feel myself reverting into that insecure 18 year old girl.
On the flip side, Mom was telling me about a conversation she had with a co-worker who is exactly my age. The lady described herself to Mom as "a divorced 28 year old with kids". Hidden in that is I hear a lot of the same insecurities and disappointments that I hear in myself.
I find it ironic that I assumed that everyone would be living this wonderful life and I would be the odd one out. There are most likely people in my class that are divorced, single parents, or in my same boat. Life takes us all by the hand and we just hold on, hoping to make our way in spite of the great unknown. I know Who is leading me and am SO thankful. I just need to remember that if I decide to face all of those people from good ol' PHS.
Oh joy....
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4 comments:
All I remember is thinking how so many folks at both dad's and my reunions were STILL stuck in high school!! That had been, and would be, the big accomplishment of their lives - how sad.
I loved that 18 yr. old Dana then, but the 28 yr. old Dana blows my socks off
Your mom's comment is touching. I didn't know 18 year old Dana but I love who you are now! Have fun if you decide to go!
This is tough. I don't want to go to mine either when the time comes - ultimately for the same reasons of reverting back to the teenager with those insecurities. At least you know you won't be the only one with those kinds of feelings. It would be fun to at least be a fly on the wall!
At my 10 year reunion, I wore a little black dress. Back then it was important for me to look better than I had in high school.
Ah, time! And wisdom. My 20 year I laughed and had a great time in my 'bigger than little' black dress.
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