In the past few months, the idea of believing in God and actually believing Him have been a reoccurring thought. Yes, I do believe in Him and what He says but do I actually believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that all things will come to pass? For a while I would answer 100% "YES!" Then this morning, I realized that my "YES!" has turned into a tiny "yes?"
I have lately slipped into the dangerous lands of the pity party. You know - table for one. I've been looking at many aspects of my life and, unfortunately, I can see where I have slowly started giving up hope for what lies ahead. I have started accepting present realities as permanent instead of looking at what is to come. The scariest part of all is that as I have begun to slip into silent acceptance, I have become just that in prayer - silent. There are things that I have not prayed about in quite a while because I have forgotten that God does not desire for me to stay where I am or who I am. I've lost sight that He desires my growth and change in Him. He may not have in store what I hope for but that doesn't mean that I stop seeking and asking. He never desires stagnation or acceptance in the face of defeat. He asks for more. He asks for anticipation of the unknown and unshakable faith that KNOWS He has more in store. Even though it is scary and hard, whatever the outcome is, He steadys us for it in prayer.
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." - Psalm 27:14
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3 comments:
you are in my prayers girl! keep desireing to grow and change, James 1 talks about struggles so we have opportuity to grow closer to God!
a long while back Darla's nephew wrote about the persistent woman in the parables and how she changed the judges decision. and then he related that persistance to our prayer life and the judge to God. Don't settle because you think that's what God has in store for you. i so believe that satan speaks to us just as loudly has God does, infact, he's streaming when God is trying to pull us out to him with a quiet whisper. keep being persistent on your dreams and the desires of your heart that you can glorify your Father with! i love you
It's always hardest to trust in God's timing, instead of relying on our own. That's my biggest struggle right now. I keep praying for patience, but God just keeps giving opportunities to be patient. just trust in His timing for you and His will for you, and you will be just fine. Love you, I can't wait until August!!
Right now, it seems like those I love the most are crucial crossroads, and yet I realize that during this time, I have been weak in my prayer time also - those 2 a.m. times alone with God have fallen farther and farther apart just when I need them the most.
Keep searching, Dana. He has so much in store for you!!
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