Friday, June 13, 2008

Big Ears = Big Hearts

This week I was blessed beyond measure to attend a training called Student Assistance Program (SAP). For three days, we learned how to facilitate small student groups on everything from substance abuse (theirs or someone else's), grief/trauma/loss, social skills, family issues, bullying, etc. It wasn't counseling but more of a way to allow students to express themselves in a safe place and to teach them how to handle emotions in a healthy way. Part of our training was to take part in a SAP group. For seven sessions, I met with women that I had never met before and discussed a wide range of topics. The experience cleansed me and helped me to see my life in a whole new way.

One thing that SAP teaches is that while one person speaks, everyone else is silent. No words of approval or condemnation. No sounds of any kind, no advise. Nothing but listening. That in itself was the hardest but the best thing that I learned all week long. Sometimes you just need someone to listen. I've learned that in our desire to help, we often do more harm than good. Being able to have someone truly hear you and not put their two cents in is such a blessing. It allowed me to listen to myself and what I was saying. It allowed me to say things that I have never vocalized before because I was afraid of people's reactions. In listening, there was no reaction to worry about. In listening, I learned that we are SO much more alike than we are different! In listening, we show that we really do care!

I walk away from this week freer than I have felt in so long. Emotionally and physically, I feel lighter. Chapters are closed and the only way I see is forward. Even though this is not its intended context, I have a greater appreciation for James 1:19 - "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry,"

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