Needs vs. Wants

*This started off as a comment on Jamie's blog but was too LONG. Therefore, I turned it into a blog.*

To say that I am a Grey’s Anatomy fan is a HUGE understatement. I watch it while I work and today was no exception. One of my favorite scenes was on and it made me laugh (again). A woman comes into the hospital and she is in such shock that all she can do is scream at the top of her lungs. No one can make her stop. Finally, in a desperate attempt, one of the interns grabs her by the arms, gets nose to nose, and screams right back in her face. It catches her off guard and she stops. It makes me laugh. Sometimes, I think that is just what I need. Someone to scream in my face to make me face what life really is for me.

I have SO many things I want for my life. I dreams about where I want to go, things I want to do, who I want to be, and who I want to be there with me. I dream BIG. These things are truer to me and who I am than anything else. I believe that what we want speaks volumes towards who we are. Lately, I’ve had to make choices about needs vs. wants. Unfortunately, the needs outweigh the wants and that is how it should be. Yet, no matter how right it is, I am so sad when I have to let go of one of those wants. Another small (or large) dream that goes away. It may sounds a little bit dramatic but it feels like a part of me dies. You don’t get that back. You try to accept reality but it is a hard and bitter pill to swallow. I don’t think you ever fully get over it. You just silently scream for a while until God grabs you, puts his nose to yours, and screams in your face just to catch you off guard. Then, you snap into the reality of the present. It doesn’t make that dream (or the pain of losing it) go away completely, but it does make you appreciate the here and now. It is real. It is all we have.