Reality

Ten years ago, I was counting down the days until summer break between my junior and senior year of high school. I remember looking ahead and thinking about the future - what it would be like, where I would be, who I would be. Some has come to be just as planned (teaching), while others are so different. I thought my story would be a lot like my parents: meet my husband in college, get married after graduating, be finished having kids by the time I was thirty. In some ways, I am SO thankful that I have been wrong. I have been taken places and had experiences that I couldn't have if my plan had worked out. I can definitely take care of myself. On the other hand, well...some days it can be a little heartbreaking. For some reason, tonight seems to be one of those nights. I think it is because of the whole job search thing. I'm so confused right now. I spent hours every night for two weeks filling out applications and now I'm not too sure that I want to leave my school. I got a call today that a school in San Antonio is interested in talking to me. I have to call back tomorrow to get more information. I feel very conflicted about it....

I think that I am just really ready for stability. A good school district, a place to put down roots, to be part of a community of people in my stage of life seeking out the same things.

Sorry to be a rambling Debbie Downer....