One of the weeks was spent on the roles of members in the church - older and younger men and women specifically. As we talked about it, we all started to notice a common longing. None of us have mentors. By this I don't mean someone we look up to. None of us have someone who has intentionally decided to come along side us to show us what life looks like in the next stage. We don't have an older woman to invest in us - teaching and sharing the wisdom that they could share with us. No one inviting us into their homes or to meet with us regularly to share life with. On the reverse side, we don't have anyone we are mentoring either. No one younger than us to invest in, meet with, and possibly share what little wisdom we have. It is sad.
When did this happen? I know that in attempts for churches to help people walk out life together, we have allowed ourselves to be sectioned off into our own corners - college students, singles, newly marrieds, young families, youth groups/parents, empty nesters, "golden agers". However, the beauty of mentoring/discipling is being lost. We are becoming more and more isolated within ourselves with little direction from those who have been there and done that.
I know it isn't just my generation that is feeling this loss. I have a dear friend that is in her early 50s. She has lamented several times that she would love someone to mentor her. Yet, she doesn't have that someone. I'm not innocent in this either. Teenagers scare me to death (not joking or exaggerating here) and I don't know many people in college. I could be doing it but with who?
So I find myself wondering what the next step is. How do we fix what has been broken? Where do we find the wisdom we so desperately crave?
4 comments:
Ok, I am now convinced that you, your sister, and I are blood-related. You girls are my long lost sisters! This is one of my passions, and I wanted so desperately to start a mentoring program at church when we lived in Houston and I was on the women's leadership team, but I was pregnant and didn't have the energy or time (I actually typed up a whole sheet about why we young women needed mentors and what it would look like). I don't know where we've gone wrong, but you are so right. This is a vital part of the Christian walk, and we're not doing a very good job at it (myself included). I have a great friend here, who I consider my mentor (she's about 11 years older than me and has kids much older than mine) and it is such a blessing to be able to talk to her and run ideas past her. I wish I had an answer to the problem, but I think finding someone to mentor you (asking them point-blank) and then finding someone younger than you to walk alongside are good starting points. Then others will follow suit, hopefully.
I know that you have had these women in your life; Jackie, Alice, Darla, the elder's wife at West Houton, and more - so you know how to find them. Your church is so huge and you are so busy with your peer group that you have no time to hunt for that woman who is there, waiting to add her life to yours.
Keep searching!!
You raise a good point. Our church has started something similar to this- a type of mentoring program wit women. But it doesn't really reach across all generations and life circumstances.
Maybe God is nudging you? Somehow. :)
btw...my sister had a pretty great mentoring program at her church in San Antonio. Apples of Gold, I think?
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