As much as I am enjoying first grade, there is a student that I have that is extremely difficult. Actually that is an understatement. Every teacher up through 5th grade, every custodial and cafeteria workers, and every regular parent knows this child by face and name. No one wants to have her in their rooms. No one can connect with this child and no one wants to try. She has been both verbally and physically aggressive towards her peers and the staff. After three and a half months, I am emotionally, mentally, and physically drained.
Today, for the first time, I broke down and cried. I was at school until almost 7:30 tonight getting the environment ready for some new actions we are putting into place to try to keep her in a regular ed classroom. Tomorrow, I have an hour and a half meeting to "get on the same page" and to make a few things legal. Then, we implement the new plan on Thursday morning. While I have great respect for the men and women coming up with this plan, I do not see the next few weeks being pleasant ones. I expect full resistance and pushing the limits by my girl and I have very little to give to her anymore. On the way home, all I could do to keep myself from pulling over and just falling to pieces was listening to Chris Tomlin singing "Everlasting God" over and over again.
Please pray for wisdom in how to interact with this child. In so many ways, I feel for her but I am almost to my breaking point with her. I beg you NOT to pray for patience! I am terrified of what that lesson might look like after seeing what our day in and day out dealings are. I just need a calm spirit and clarity of thought when choosing words and actions with her. Especially over the next two and a half weeks!
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3 comments:
I do so understand your pain!
Last year, I prayed often before going into my 6th period and I got so I never prayed for patience I prayed that they would behave, not fight, get along together, not cuss me out, etc.
Seriously I prayed yesterday before a student who has been dealing me misery entered my room and she was not perfect but she was manageable. The day before she had been so bad that I was ready to give up my retirement to get out of teaching. I had her schedule changed from my fourth period class to my third period and in the process she had four class schedules change and her lunch period and when she complained to me I said, "Stop complaining and accept it. This is only the consequence of your previous actions."
I think she finally saw the light.
I will keep you in my prayers. Keep me in yours.
Dana,
You are in my prayers continually. You have all my sympathy. You also have all my admiration. She needs you and you need her. Well at least the first part of the phrase is an absolute truth. :) Hang in there tomorrow and the next day and the next day...- YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! God loves you and knows you're strong and persevering cuz HE gave you the muscles and endurance. He won't fail you. Love ya.
You've got my prayers Dana! You can do this with God's help!
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