Permanent Static

When you live by yourself, there are a few things that you do not feel alone. The most common is to turn on the TV. It is someone's voice that engages you through story. However, if you aren't careful, if can become almost an addiction. It is something that you can use to numb yourself, to check out and not deal, or to just replace responsibility with. It is sly too. It makes you start to accept things that you otherwise wouldn't because it slowly draws you in through entertainment. I can say these because I am speaking from experience. It happened to me.

Two weeks ago, I made a decision - Get rid of cable. I called and cancelled it. I bought an antenna and what do you know but it didn't work. I had every intention to go get a more powerful one after work today so I boxed it up and placed it by my bag last night. But....

This morning I was brushing my teeth, a thought crossed my mind - what if I just didn't have TV? Really. Let's just think about this -

• Last week before the antenna was purchased, I got so much done. I'm getting back so much time.
• I'm never home to use it.
• All of the shows I enjoy (except one) are online. I can watch them anytime I want with minimal to no commercials.
• I can't "accidentally" pick up a new show.
• My mind is sheltered from so much!
• Time is given back to me - for God, for others, for reading, for being domestic.
• TV watching is now a social event is which other people are involved.
• All of that money is being put to better purposes.
• My home is now truly a place to relax fully.

So I took the antenna back today and didn't get a stronger one. My TV is officially set to permanent static! It feels really extreme but freeing at the same time. I don't know how long this will last but for the time being, TV is for DVDs only. So if you need to disconnect for a bit, come on over! There's so much we can do together!

I think I'm about to learn a lot about listening....

My Beautiful Aspens

Even though it has been two weeks since returning from Colorado, I have thought about it multiple times daily. One of my favorite memories that touches my heart more than any other is that of the aspen trees. Most of the pictures here, I did not take but they are what I saw - what my heart fell in love with.

One of the things I was looking forward to the most about Colorado was seeing the fall colors. We don't have a fall here so I was ecstatic to see what it looks like in other places. As we were driving up, this is what we saw. This is Mt. Yale - across the valley from where we were. Needless to say, we had the same view. The second picture is Mt. Princeton - where the ranch was.

It was breath-taking, to say the least. One thing we talked about was that God uses His creation to show off His beauty. He uses it to woo us to Him and to show His love for us. Who needs a dozen roses when you can get something this beautiful, right? Their long, white trunks were so smooth and soft. And just to prove how wonderful these trees are, just check out their leaves. To me, they look slightly heart-shaped. We saw them on hikes and they littered the grounds where I chose to spend my quiet times. When you are working through things and God is breaking down those areas only He can rebuild, its nice to be surrounded by hearts to remind you of His.

The ones most immediately surrounding us had only just started to change. In fact, we saw one tree change from pure green to almost completely yellow over the four days we were there. It was amazing. However, the green was beautiful too. The leaves are almost transparent. As the sunlight would shine through, every shade of green would twinkle at us. My favorite color is green so you know I was delighted! It almost seemed as stained glass.

What made the leaves twinkle shades of green in the light was the wind. A slight breeze would blow and the leaves would lightly twist and dance in the breeze. The sound was like no other - almost like a stream. They clapped for their Maker. As if their celebration in the air weren't enough, their shadow would dance too. It almost looked like the flutter of butterfly wings on the ground.

In case you can't tell, I grew to love these trees very quickly. I see the Creator in them. He used them in powerful ways to minister to me over those four days. When I think about Heaven, I hope a portion of it will be sitting in a grove of aspens, talking to Jesus. I think He looks forward to it too.

Captivated and Captivating

Last weekend, I was blessed beyond measure to attend the Captivating Event put on my Ransomed Heart Ministries. I've thought for a week about how to blog about these four days and even now, I am at a loss for adequate words. God blew open the doors of healing, love, and redemption as He never has before. I know it wasn't Him that changed but me. I came ready to work and worship and He met me there. And, just as He told us, He began a good work and is carrying it through to completion. Even though I left a week ago, He continues to work in those areas I need Him most. Even a few moments ago, He reminded me of the sweetness of His freedom. He leaves me speechless. My life and my worship is forever changed.

The weekend was deeply personal - intimate even - and sharing it all here just doesn't feel right. I am holding it close, as a treasure to be fiercely protected. However, I was to encourage you to take a look at the book. I'm happy to share my story so email me or we can visit when I see you next. Until then, here are a few images of the weekend. Each really is worth 1,000 words to this heart:

Looking out across the valley area. You can't see it with my little point and click camera but there were ribbons of yellows and oranges that brought the soul to life.

The six girls I bonded with. They are more loved than they will ever know!

With a beloved aspen tree. I think God made them just for me. Be looking for a future post about the greatness that is God's gift of the aspen tree.

This was taken from a bridge where I sat during one of our quiet times. It's song soothed my spirit.

As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God's love. You labor with God to bring forth life - in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty. (Captivating, pg 217)