In Response to Darla

Last night I read Darla's blog about students destroying the campus. It made my heart hurt. I was so sad that I couldn't even think of how to respond. As I tried to this morning, it turned into a blog.

Part of me thinks vandalism is a phase but we had to fight it this year in fourth grade. However, I have to disagree with Cryssy. It will not downward spiral from here. The hope that I have is that children (and even adults), are like dogs....we can all be trained. As humans we are innately selfish but we can learn to think beyond ourselves. The about the Greatest Command. We have to be told to love other people because it does not come naturally for us. It takes time and lots of frustrating work but we can teach people how to behave and respect. I have parents come talk to me about their children and they are trying so hard to work with their kids behaviourally and academically. One thing that they constantly say is, "I was difficult in school/at home when I was their age but I am different now. I know what my parents and teachers went through. They were right, I do understand now." I think until we break the selfishness of adolescence, destruction will be a problem but they will learn that there is another way. Maybe for their kids but also for themselves. Some may take involving the law but they will learn. This is one of the lessons that I have finally learned as a teacher this year. No matter how hard it may be for us, we can teach a child how to behave. We may want to pull our hair out at times but we can do it.

In Their Shoes...

One of my favorite classes in college was Child Development. Apparently, I am very interested in why we are the way that we are. The big question swings asking "nature, nurture, or a combination of the two?" Just as in all things, the pendulum swings. I'm even interested in the biology of our make up. I am reading a book right now called The Female Brain which discusses the neurological changes that women go through at various stages in life and how if affects her attitude and emotions. It's a bit heavy at times but I'm really enjoying it.

"So what brings this up?" you may ask. Tonight I was sitting at my desk grading papers and listening to my iTunes. Back to back, the following artists come up: Michael Buble, Willie Nelson, The Weepies, Tegan and Sara, and Rocco DeLuca. At that moment, I stopped grading and thought, "Where did that come from!?" We all know that Mom and Dad did not instill a love for Michael Buble's style let alone anything by Willie Nelson. I think that Papaw was a country music fan but I don't remember listening to the radio with him. Does taste in music skip a generation? While I can attribute some of my outstanding taste in music to my folks, I am lost as to where the rest of it came from. In fact, I'm confident that they have never heard of most of the artists in my Nano.

I guess this is one of those nature and nurture things....

Next Year

Yesterday, my principal told me that Teaching and Learning are wanting to get training lined up for this summer. They were concerned that money would be spent training employees who would then move. I was asked to let her know ASAP (today) about my plans for next year. This morning I let her know that I would be back for another year.

I know this may sound very contradictory to what I have been blogging about but when it came down to it, I don't want to leave me school. I am part of an amazing team, the training is unbeatable, and I believe in the curriculum. I am being set up for promotion here. I feel like this is where I need to be. I am very peaceful right now.

So now it is time to house/apartment hunt. I am looking forward to that quite a bit. I have about 7 days left of school and then about two weeks of training in June. It will fly by but I am excited about it.

Goosebumps

I think that it is really interesting the things that people are bothered or creeped out by. Frogs, bugs, feet, etc etc etc. Today I realized what mine are. I only have two but they are pretty strange. I will admit that:

1. I really don't like very big statues of people. Think Statue of Liberty (NYC -151 feet or 305 feet if you include the base), Christ Redeemer (Rio de Janeiro - 125 feet), Sam Houston (Huntsville - 69 feet)... People are not supposed to be that big! God did not intend us to be more than a few feet tall. Your nose should not be the size of a large infant! While the site of the Statue of Liberty was very cool, it was also incredibly creepy. I didn't actually spend much time looking at her. The thought of someone's eye being the same height that I am is not impressive - it is wrong!
2. Octopuses are not interesting - they are gross! Did you know that they can "pour" themselves into a bottle through a hole in the lid the size of a quarter? They can change their color and texture in the blink of an eye. They can be as small as your thumb or as big as 20 feet long. Every sucker on their tentacles can taste everything they touch. They can learn things (like opening jars) just by watching others almost like the Borg (that's right Dad - I made an educated Star Trek reference). This is not fascinating, it is disturbing! There is a reason that it is depicted as a sea monster in so many bad horror movies!

What weird things disturb you?

Reality

Ten years ago, I was counting down the days until summer break between my junior and senior year of high school. I remember looking ahead and thinking about the future - what it would be like, where I would be, who I would be. Some has come to be just as planned (teaching), while others are so different. I thought my story would be a lot like my parents: meet my husband in college, get married after graduating, be finished having kids by the time I was thirty. In some ways, I am SO thankful that I have been wrong. I have been taken places and had experiences that I couldn't have if my plan had worked out. I can definitely take care of myself. On the other hand, well...some days it can be a little heartbreaking. For some reason, tonight seems to be one of those nights. I think it is because of the whole job search thing. I'm so confused right now. I spent hours every night for two weeks filling out applications and now I'm not too sure that I want to leave my school. I got a call today that a school in San Antonio is interested in talking to me. I have to call back tomorrow to get more information. I feel very conflicted about it....

I think that I am just really ready for stability. A good school district, a place to put down roots, to be part of a community of people in my stage of life seeking out the same things.

Sorry to be a rambling Debbie Downer....

Anticipation

There are three weeks left of school for me. The kids finish on June 1 and teacher work day is June 4. I have been so caught up in everything that still has to be finished that it seems 6 years away for me - until tonight.

Going a little stir crazy, I went to Target to pick something up. As I walked in, all impulse buying tendencies went into full alert. The very first aisle was filled with picnic accessories. This may not sound like a very big deal but ... sitting on the bottom row was something that I have always wanted but never bought - A picnic basket with gingham cloth lining. Not the fancy kind with plates, utensils, and other silly paraphernalia but just a simple, brown, square basket. It had a hinged lid and two handle that came up from the sides and to meet in the middle. There were two to chose from - red gingham or blue gingham. They weren't expensive ($15). As I looked up, I saw matching picnic blankets, reusable plastic food containers, and other things needed for a picnic. My $15 impulse buy quickly became a much more expensive purchase in my mind so I waited.

Now I know that you are thinking, "It's a picnic basket, big deal". To me it is. Not only is this something that I have wanted for a VERY long time but in that instant, it hit me. It isn't "Three weeks to dredge through before summer" but "Only three week until summer - WOO HOO!" I look at that picnic basket and I see a little bit of freedom. Time to go on a picnic and sit by the river reading a book. How wonderful! At the park in town, there is a bridge across the river to a little island. There are beautiful trees, ducks, and small "rapids" that I would love to just sit and enjoy. I don't have Darla, or Daniel, or Caleb's eye for photography but it would be fun to play a little bit down there. Jeff and Alissa were talking about a couple of places that I haven't seen yet but in three weeks, I can.

I can't wait!

The Blessing

I can't remember where I heard it but someone once stated that their biggest dislike for contemporary Christian music was the individualism that it reflects. At first, I was a bit defensive about that opinion because I have been deeply moved by so many songs contemporary Christian music has produced. Yet, as I listened to it, I found the statement to be rather true. The word "I" was so pronounced and distinctive that it couldn't be ignored. That statement stuck with me and, lately, I have been thinking about individual vs corporate worship quite a bit. Do our praise songs reflect the common goal of our worship or are we more focused on our individual relationships with God? While I know that both are important, I too have noticed the emphasis placed on the individual rather than the body. My ears have been keenly attentive towards finding songs that show unity of spirit in worship. A couple of weeks ago, I found a new song by John Waller called "The Blessing". From the first time I heard it, I have felt that this should be a mission statement for the church. It stirred a place deep inside of me. I wish that I knew how to display an audio clip but for now, here are the lyrics. May we truly be a blessing to those around and after us.

The Blessing by John Waller

Let it be said of us
While we walked among the living
Let it be said of us
By the ones we leave behind
Let it be said of us
That we lived to be a blessing for life

Let it be said of us
That we gave to reach the dying
Let it be said of us
By the fruit we leave behind
Let it be said of us
That our legacy is blessing for life

Chorus:
This day
You set life,
You set death right before us,
This day
Every blessing and curse is a choice now
And we will choose to be a blessing for life

Let it be said of us
That our hearts belonged to Jesus
Let it be said of us
That we spoke the words of life
Let it be said of us
That our heritage is blessing for life

Chorus

Cause blessing and curses are choice now
Will we build up, tear down, the moment of truth is now

Chorus

For your Kingdom,
For our Children,
For the sake of every nation
(Repeat)

We will choose to be a blessing for life

Drum Roll Please.....

I had this on the list of things to blog about but I wasn't sure when it would happen. Kind of appropriate that it hit the day after yesterday's post. TAKS results are in. Kids and parents don't know yet but we do. Here is how they look for my class: Reading - 90%, Math - 95%, and Writing - 100%! We laughed, cried, and stood in awe of what our students accomplished. I could not be any prouder than I am right now. Everyone is ready for next year so we can raise scores again and increase the number of kids commended. I had several tell me that I shouldn't leave. Kind of heart twisting. For now, I'll not worry about it but celebrate instead! The stress and hard work paid off in the end!

Torn

The first blog from my weekend of cleaning is actually about the weekend. On Saturday, I went to the North East ISD job fair in San Antonio. Imagine 43 tables set up on a basketball court with about 300 people milling between them. Yep, it was crowded. Those with claustrophobia would have died. I got to 17 of the 43 elementary schools with an average wait time of 25 - 45 minutes between tables. To be perfectly honest, it was VERY discouraging. Just about every table said they didn't have openings yet but they might get more over the summer. Most hiring is done in July and August. This is not helpful to someone who only has until July 16 to get out of her current contract. Grrr.... I was reminded once again how political getting a teaching position is. It is all about who you know and how they can sell you. Going at it alone is very difficult.

As I waited in one of many lines, I got to thinking about my kids and my coworkers. I really love them all. The women are such hard workers with a true heart for their students. They are my mini-family. We are up on best practices and are held to a high standard. I am the teacher that I am today because of this district. I am challenged because they pull the best from me. Professionally, I am making a good name for myself here and am respected. There is room for growth and promotion for me here. My decision to move is not one related to work. It is an attempt to make a better life for me. Ms. LaMore is very happy where she is but Dana is not. While I am thankful for Southern Hills, I am looking for a church with a more active singles group and more opportunities to study and serve. My closest friends are moving in about a month so I am NOT looking forward to that. I am ready to make some settling moves in my life. I want to make a home somewhere and start planting roots. I'm ready for permanence but there are aspects of that life style not readily available for me in San Marcos.

I guess I find myself in a struggle. Leaving San Marcos CISD will be so much harder than I originally anticipated. Where is the line that separates Ms. LaMore from Dana? How can I make both happy when the decision to leave takes me from a GREAT district but staying means losing out on every other aspect of my life? I know that the answer to that question should be easy but for some reason, it's not.

The Trouble with a Racing Mind

The past two days have been spent in sorting, cleaning, organizing, and straightening. When I get in the cleaning zone, I just go until it is time to go somewhere or sleep. That is where I am right now. The whole time that I am busy with my hands, my mind jumps all over the place. Therefore, I have spent the past two days with all kinds of epiphanies and thoughts. Just wanted to let you know that this will be a full week of blogs. Really - I have five things to talk about. I thought one a day would be better than one massive one filled with this and that. Some are serious and sweet while others are just random thoughts. Hope you have a great week!

The Office

Quite possibly the funniest minute and a half of television!

Finished!

After two weeks and hours of work, I am finished filling out applications for next year. There are 10 applications out spanning from South Texas to North Austin. I am anxious but trying not to be. I can see pros and cons to any area God places me, so right now I am just waiting and praying. It is now up to Him. Please keep this time in your prayers. I tend to get antsy and take things into my own hands when things are in the "gray".

Everything

Recently I wrote a LONG ode to Harry Connick Jr. Truth is, I have a new favorite. Well, not really new - just more pronounced. Michael Buble! I don't find famous men attractive and I don't swoon. However, when Buble sings, he is the exception. His new cd comes out tomorrow and I cannot wait! Here is the video from my latest favorite that he does called Everything. His personality shines through in it. Enjoy!

I Go To The Rock

Friday night, a few of us went camping at Enchanted Rock. It was a really good time. To say that we roughed it would be a joke. Tent, inflated air mattresses, two ice chests and a tub filled with food, and bathrooms (with showers) less that two minutes down the path. The girls had a tent spot reserved right by the rock. A couple of us went up and sat on it at various points. Good food, good friends, good times. The next day, we met up with the church and went hiking. Dad and I took the Loop Trail around the park and had some good father/daughter time before meeting up with everyone else.

While camping and walking, I realized a couple of things:

• When we least expect it, we can see what we have learned from our parents. Dad and I were going along and we came to a decline. Without even thinking about it, we were taking smaller, in step strides moving heel-toe all the way down. In that moment, I had a flash back to being about eight and Dad stopping Erin and I from running down the hill at full speed. He slowed us down and taught us how to take our time and go carefully to avoid getting hurt. As I remembered that moment, I had to laugh to myself. Funny how a simple moment can teach such a big lesson. At 27 years old and faced with obstacles of all kinds, I slow down and take one careful step at a time. No full force, trip yourself over your feet running. Just heel-toe all the way down to safety. Just like Dad.
• I find myself in peace with God's creation. After we made it up the steepest incline, Dad and I stopped to catch our breath. As I turned around, I saw a sea of green before me. Countless shades faded in and out of each other as tree branches tangled and interwove. We saw countless different wildflowers, lizards, birds, and different plants. We found a spot where the water was running out of the rock and between smaller rocks. The night before, I caught myself staring at the trees around our spot. They were beautiful. The strong granite around us was quite a majestic sight. I think it was the most still I have been in weeks. Seeing the brilliance of the world around me made me feel connected to creation and the one who set it into place. Everything was untouched and just as God intended it to be. As much as I love the things of the city, I want that all of the time. Some land to live on with a comfortable house, a nice back porch to sit on, and a sunset to take my breath away.

Confessions

I haven't blogged in a while so I thought I would steal this idea from someone else. Here are some little things about me.

1. I can't snap with my right hand. Snapping in one of only two things I do left handed. The other is shoot a gun.
2. When I am in the shower and the phone rings, I think it is the fire alarm every time. One day I will learn.
3. Some days I have a hard time getting out of bed. I call these my "Clean, Dry, Dressed" days. I only have time to shower, dry off, and get dressed. I'm not too proud of that.
4. Each day that I become more confident in my abilities as a teacher, I am humbled by how much more I have to learn. There are some amazing, naturally talented professional men and women out there!
5. My apartment is very messy right now (specifically the extra room). Not dirty and gross - just messy. It's hard to get motivated to straighten up when no one ever comes over. Really... The last person to see the apartment besides me was Erin. That was right after Mom's surgery two and a half months ago! She can tell you that even then, it didn't look the best.
6. I don't have any clue where I will be after this school year. I've been praying about it and I am more confused today than the day I decided to move. Six applications are out and now I pray. I don't like this gray area.
7. Lately all of my dreams have faucets that are running on high and I can't turn them off. The knobs don't work! This is frustrating me!
8. I have a hard time with jealousy at times. The green eyed monster really likes me on some days!
9. I haven't used a personal day from work in two years. I can count on one hand the number of days I have missed. They were funerals or doctor visits.
10. Donuts make my tummy hurt.

*Sigh*

Last night, I was sitting in my chair, writing motivational notes for students while watching Christy. Something caught my eye and I looked out the window. Through the beautiful sunshine, a light rain was falling. Now, I know that this annoys some people. Some think that when it rains, it should be dark and gray. I am not one of those people...One of my favorite things on earth is to watch the rain fall on a bright, spring day and look to the sky, hopeful for a rainbow. The air cools a bit and a light breeze blows in. The green in the plants seem to intensify as they are washed.

I stood on my balcony for a while looking at the bushes and grass below. Maintenance cut the grass the day before so the sweet smell of rain mixed with the fresh cut grass. The light breeze softly danced across my face and through my hair in tiny wisps. I imagine that is what sweet kisses from heaven must feel like. It was a near perfect moment.

Powerful Prayer

During the study on Daniel, we were able to watch sessions that Beth taught concerned the topics we were discussing. So many were informative and new but others were simply amazing. Below is a piece from Lesson 8. It begins as a quote and then switches into a prayer that closed the session. It is possibly the most humbling, encouraging, empowering thing I have ever heard. I hope it blesses you as it has me.

Whether or not we can comprehend this, we are living in the days of light. We are the light of the world, and this is our era. This is our time on the history line of God.

We keep looking for somebody better to come along. Somebody more fit to take this place in history. We're it! We're it! What will we do? You've got one turn here. I've got one turn here. It's the age of the church - and we're it!

Lord,

As readers of the signs of the times, we ask "What shall we do with this? What will we do with our place, our dot on the line of history?" We gotta make it count. We gotta make it count.

I pray you help us to cease looking at someone else to do it. We are the church. We're the ones. WE'RE ON.

Fill us. Show us. Direct Us. Bring us to our feet and cause us to LIVE ON PURPOSE.

God, help me live on purpose so when you look over that kingdom calendar, when all is said and done and the new heaven and earth have come, that you'd be able to glance over at our generation and say, "They were really something, weren't they? Satan wanted them real bad but he could not wear them down!"

Let it be said. In Jesus' name, Amen

Oh My Goodness!

It seems like there has been a dry spell in terms of concerts that I would like to see lately....until now. Check out who is coming to the Majestic:

• Harry Connick Jr.
• Norah Jones
• Tony Bennett

Seriously! I can't afford all of this but I am so wanting to. Dave is either going to be very proud or hang his head.

Blessed

After some very intense weeks and amazing spiritual growth, I just finished my last homework assignment on Daniel. Thursday night we will have our last session but as of now, the homework is finished. Even though I will miss it immensly, my heart and lips sing tonight. I pray blessings on you all.

Oh Lord,
You have been good
You have been faithful
Through all generations!

And A Cherry On Top...

Today was actually a pretty good day. I didn't get rattled or stressed out at work! Woo Hoo! After work, I went shopping and found some cute things (all on amazing sales which intensifies the cuteness). However, as great as all of that is, something else made my day.

As I was sitting at a light, I noticed a blue and white truck behind me. As I looked closer, I noticed that it was one of my students. He is a very bright boy and tends to get bored in class. He was buckled in the passangers seat next to his dad. As I watched, the dad spent the time at the red light tickling and picking at his son. My student lit up like I have never seen before and I felt like I could hear him laughing through both cars. I couldn't help but stare through my read view mirror. What a great moment. Father and son laughing through a red light. It made my heart smile.